The Waas of Luigis
by PeskyPlumber
Summary: Waluigi begrudgingly helps Luigi when he finds out the green loser is in love with someone else.
1. Chapter 1

Waluigi was collecting all the ingredients for his taco stand in a grassy meadow as he stopped by to see Luigi sniffling on a wooden bench, with the purple guy sighing as he approached the green man.

"What's wrong, you pathetic freak?" Waluigi asked as he adjusted his purple cap.

Luigi sniffled as he wiped his nose. "Oh, it's just I have this crush... on someone."

"...aren't you already with a girl?" Waluigi pointed out while pointing down at the plumber.

Luigi shrugged as he looked up at the dastardly tall freak. "Yeah, but I found someone a bit more alluring. It's kind of, well..."

"Out of with, lean bean!" Waluigi snapped as he slapped Luigi across the face.

"All right! I'm in love... with a Boo that looks like Peach." Luigi admitted as he shrunk in size, with Waluigi squinting his eyes.

"...Are you friggin' serious?" Waluigi muttered as he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"As suicide." Luigi bluntly said.

Waluigi shook his head as he began laughing, feeling confident suddenly. "Well, I can safely say that I'm not as pathetic as you."

"You're supposed to help me out, not make me feel like crap!" Luigi pouted as he pounded his fists on the bench.

Waluigi calmed down as he waved his right hand, shaking his head. "All right, settle down you sad clown, I'll help you... even though I really don't want to."

Luigi then attempted to hug Waluigi, who punched him in the face as the purple jerk didn't want the pathetic green loser having his hands on him.


	2. Chapter 2

Waluigi and Luigi were out on the former's quest to help the latter get a date, with it feeling like it would be an impossible task due to the fragile nature of someone that was easily scared by anything, even if the subject in question happened to be adorable. They were going through the Hyrule Temple as it was big enough to scoop out anyone or anything there.

"You sure you don't want to do anything else than help someone that you're known for hating most of your life?" Luigi questioned as he was still shocked that this situation was occuring at all.

"Ah-ha, I can see where you're coming from, yet you seem to be thinking of the short term rather than the long 1!" Waluigi taunted as he towered other his smaller rival. "It's no wonder that you need be to help you steer out of this predicament!"

"Are you trying to say that I'm incompetent?" Luigi snapped as he felt insulted.

"I'm not saying an obvious fact, but that is one of the reasons why I'm helping you out." Waluigi replied calmly as he noted the detail on the gloves he patched up himself. "You're so pathetic, it'll make me look good if I gave you a helping hand, regardless of what it is that you need for me to do!"

Luigi wasn't sure on how to respond to this as he just went with it, being confident that Waluigi would help him out in such a complicated manner as finding someone to enjoy a nice date with.


	3. Chapter 3

"So... how long have we been looking for that special someone for me?" Luigi asked Waluigi as the two were sitting on the wooden plank at the tropical Koopa Troopa Beach.

Waluigi sighed as he watched the various racers zip around on the sandy beach with his lanky arms wrapped around the back of his head. "I don't know. It could take weeks at the rate that we're going."

"But you said you knew how to help me out in a pinch!" Luigi yelled as he began shaking his rival. "How am I suppose to be comfortable in finding someone if you're not willing to-"

Waluigi punched Luigi right in the face, making the plumber fall in the ake that the planks were standing within, with Waluigi dusting off his purple clothing as he snarled.

"Lesson 1 is to not act like that to the girl you want." Waluigi reported as he closed his eyes. "And lesson 2 is to not piss me off."


	4. Chapter 4

"Am I ever going to be good enough to have someone want to date me?" Luigi spoke up.

Waluigi slapped Luigi across the face as a means of snapping him, with the green plumber flailing his arms in a whimpy manner as the purple guy just scoffed.

"Stop being such a baby. I'm sure someone would actually get with you, hard to believe..." Waluigi murmured.

"Oh I don't know, what if I'm feeling that I don't want to be straight?" Luigi questioned as he sniffled. "You think they would be fine if I was bi, or gay?"

"I already think of you as the latter, and so do a lot of people if memes are anything to go by." Waluigi retorted while adjusting his purple cap. "It's all in how you want to be treated by others."

Luigi was shocked at what Waluigi was offering to say to him, not realizing how much he needed his rival in certain times. Waluigi was not comfortable with having this sort of conversation with the man he claims to have a seated hatred for, yet he knew that helping out someone looked down upon by society would help himself out in the long run.


	5. Chapter 5

"Am I ever going to be good enough to have someone want to date me?" Luigi spoke up.

Waluigi slapped Luigi across the face as a means of snapping him, with the green plumber flailing his arms in a whimpy manner as the purple guy just scoffed.

"Stop being such a baby. I'm sure someone would actually get with you, hard to believe..." Waluigi murmured.

"Oh I don't know, what if I'm feeling that I don't want to be straight?" Luigi questioned as he sniffled. "You think they would be fine if I was bi, or gay?"

"I already think of you as the latter, and so do a lot of people if memes are anything to go by." Waluigi retorted while adjusting his purple cap. "It's all in how you want to be treated by others."

Luigi was shocked at what Waluigi was offering to say to him, not realizing how much he needed his rival in certain times. Waluigi was not comfortable with having this sort of conversation with the man he claims to have a seated hatred for, yet he knew that helping out someone looked down upon by society would help himself out in the long run.

"You're not judging me for how I want to have myself be seen?"

"Of course not, you goof. I feel the same way."

Luigi's eyes lit up as Waluigi was quick to slam him on the head with his tennis racket, making the plumber groan in pain as he had to stop acting so brazen with how he was dicussing his plight.


	6. Chapter 6

"Am I ever going to be good enough to have someone want to date me?" Luigi spoke up.

Waluigi slapped Luigi across the face as a means of snapping him, with the green plumber flailing his arms in a whimpy manner as the purple guy just scoffed.

"Stop being such a baby. I'm sure someone would actually get with you, hard to believe..." Waluigi murmured.

"Oh I don't know, what if I'm feeling that I don't want to be straight?" Luigi questioned as he sniffled. "You think they would be fine if I was bi, or gay?"

"I already think of you as the latter, and so do a lot of people if memes are anything to go by." Waluigi retorted while adjusting his purple cap. "It's all in how you want to be treated by others."

Luigi was shocked at what Waluigi was offering to say to him, not realizing how much he needed his rival in certain times. Waluigi was not comfortable with having this sort of conversation with the man he claims to have a seated hatred for, yet he knew that helping out someone looked down upon by society would help himself out in the long run.

"You're not judging me for how I want to have myself be seen?" Luigi spoke up as he was learning new things about his seemingly more evil counterpart.

Waluigi scoffed while rubbing one of his clenched gloved fists on his purple shirt. "Of course not, you goof. I feel the same way."

Luigi's eyes lit up as Waluigi was quick to slam him on the head with his tennis racket, making the plumber groan in pain as he had to stop acting so brazen with how he was dicussing his plight.

"Why is it that you can't use your brain to think!?" Waluigi snapped. "You're never going to find a special one to spend time with if you keep acting so weird!"

"I-I can't help it, I seem to have multiple personalities to me!" Luigi whimpered as he cowered. "P-please don't hurt me again!"


	7. Chapter 7

"Am I ever going to be good enough to have someone want to date me?" Luigi spoke up as the two were walking around the empty streets of Onett.

Waluigi slapped Luigi across the face as a means of snapping him, with the green plumber flailing his arms in a whimpy manner as the purple guy just scoffed.

"Stop being such a baby. I'm sure someone would actually get with you, hard to believe..." Waluigi murmured bitterly.

"Oh I don't know, what if I'm feeling that I don't want to be straight?" Luigi questioned as he sniffled. "You think they would be fine if I was bi, or gay?"

"I already think of you as the latter, and so do a lot of people if memes are anything to go by." Waluigi retorted while adjusting his purple cap. "It's all in how you want to be treated by others."

Luigi was shocked at what Waluigi was offering to say to him, not realizing how much he needed his rival in certain times. Waluigi was not comfortable with having this sort of conversation with the man he claims to have a seated hatred for, yet he knew that helping out someone looked down upon by society would help himself out in the long run.

"You're not judging me for how I want to have myself be seen?" Luigi spoke up as he was learning new things about his seemingly more evil counterpart.

Waluigi scoffed while rubbing one of his clenched gloved fists on his purple shirt. "Of course not, you goof. I feel the same way."

Luigi's eyes lit up as Waluigi was quick to slam him on the head with his tennis racket, making the plumber groan in pain as he had to stop acting so brazen with how he was dicussing his plight.

"Why is it that you can't use your brain to think!?" Waluigi snapped. "You're never going to find a special one to spend time with if you keep acting so weird!"

"I-I can't help it, I seem to have multiple personalities to me!" Luigi whimpered as he cowered. "P-please don't hurt me again!"

Waluigi sighed in disappointment as he waved his hand casually. "...You know what, forget it. It may take a while, but I'll do my best to get you that date..."

Luigi felt a lot of conflict in what Waluigi was telling him, but this made him feel better as the duo kept on going around to help the latter get that special thing in his life.


End file.
